Want to be cool? Get Google Reader.

One of the biggest things I learned about in college, besides journalism itself, but how to understand it and follow it. Here is an awesome way to stay current with your world.

First of all: If you don't know what an RSS feed is, you should. It's a simple thing. Study this.

Second: If you want to be cool, subscribe to RSS feeds. If you want to be especially cool, do it with Google Reader. I personally guarantee that it will make your world much more simple and fun.

Check it out.

If you already use Google Reader, I apologize for my unnecessary preachyness. Here is the official Google Reader Blog.

Have a good day!

When stupid things ruin great moments...

This Rick Warren controversy really bothers me. Lesbians and gays were offended that President Obama chose Warren to pray at the inauguration. Wow. Is the world really ending?

Firstly - Did gays really believe that Obama would pick a gay clergyman to give a prayer during the inaugural celebration? They did? Oh wait, he did do that.

Secondly - Just because we have a new common-sense president doesn't mean that we should become so sensitive again. Things aren't changing that fast. Our country has spent the last eight years in toleration of questionable decisions.

Thirdly - Homosexuals are offended by Warren? Guess what people - those who aren't offended by Warren are probably occaisionally offended by the new President. Get over it.

Fourthly - As far as I know, church and state are still separate, and gay's can rejoice that Rick Warren was not the man with his hand on the Bible that day.

Everybody relax.

What makes an idiot an idiot?

If you don't want to be an idiot, be considerate of others. It's a good rule.

Roommates, coworkers, friends, people in Wal-Mart and even your relatives can be idiots. But I've learned that the first person you don't want to be an idiot is you. Many things can make you an idiot. Being American might make you an idiot- depending on the perception. From every point of view, we're all idiots.

Here is a list of things that might make you look like an idiot to me:

DISCLAIMER: At one time or another, I have been guilty of almost every one of the following.

1. You stop and talk right in the middle of a busy walkway - anywhere. Period.

2. You let your dishes pile up because you "don't feel like doing them right away." When does anybody ever feel like doing dishes?

3. You write all of your emails without subjects or comprehensible sentence structure. Example: (This is an actual direct quote from an email I received from a manager at work.) "thinking about doing article for newsletter for to get service employees into line for the new system structure in the next week." And then the author of this massacre expects you to completely understand. This one makes me fume.

4. You compulsively show up late to every meeting. Social or work-related.

5. You don't read books because you "don't have time."

6. You condescend people not because they aren't correct, but because you have nothing better to do.

7. You complain about the cold weather in South Dakota.

8. You complain about the hot weather in South Dakota.

9. You take video games more seriously than girls.

10. You say "Wow, you're tall!" to a tall guy and expect him to think it's the funniest thing he's ever heard.

11. You think you are always right.

12. You drink 22 beers and complain about being hung over the next day.

13. You like to hear yourself talk about insanely irrelevant and boring things.

14. You don't care about things that don't affect you.

15. You regularly react negatively to new ideas.

16. You play music very loudly and think everybody else likes it.

17. You drive a huge truck not because you haul bags of seed corn or chase cows, but because you think you do those things, and because you think it impresses everybody.

18. You contribute nothing to things that contribute to you.

19. You never ask anybody how they feel.

20. You never give a sincere response when somebody asks you how you feel.

21. You blog about idiocy.

22. You think you aren't affected by the economy.

23. You think global warming is hype.

24. You don't subscribe to or read any periodical or publication of any sort.

25. You think careers in journalism are easy.


Maybe I'm feeling just a bit cynical today, but I do feel very strongly that simple consideration is the cure for idiocy. If you're an idiot, you should know that although you probably have irritated the crap out of me at one time or another, I don't hate you. Nobody should hate. Ever.

Thanks for letting me rant. I feel better now.

-John

Soothing My German Side

Now that I'm done blabbing about Las Vegas, I would like to switch gears and let you know a little more about me and what I like.

Like most of us in the upper Midwest, I'm part German. A modest 20% to be more accurate. Unfortunately, the most German part of my body is my stomach. I scarf bratwursts like a fat kid pops Cheetos - and rarely without sauerkraut. And let's not forget the all-time best German food group: beer. Beer beer beer beer beer. Beer. Mmmm yes.

On Saturday, February 21, fellow beer lovers and I will make a pilgrimage to New Ulm, Minnesota to attend one of the holiest Minnesotan holidays: Bock Fest.

This one-day drunken homage to German beer takes place at the 149-year-old Schell's Brewery, home to the best beer in the upper Midwest. Complete with lederhosen and deer-antler helmets, this outdoor celebration provides a very comfortable place for those whose dreams are made of malt and hops.

I know what you're thinking and, yes... you should be jealous.

The Las Vegas Story, Part 2

Every time I go on a vacation, the real-life experience destroys my expectations and preconceptions in both positive and negative ways. I often do not realize the inaccuracy of my expectations until I am back at home where they were formed. Of course, while I am there, I am caught up in observation. Not thinking, but observing. Who wants to think while on vacation? What are vacations for?

Just in case you were wondering, our vacation to Las Vegas was awesome. Freaking amazingly and spectacularly awesome in every sense of the expletive. But before I start glazing your eyes with stories of which you have no interest, I want to get to the point of this post.

Keep in mind that Stacy and I were only there for three days, which probably isn't long enough to develop an accurate feel for the city. These expecations and real life observances are only from our point of view. If you've been to Vegas recently, you are more than welcome to comment with your experience, if you would agree with me or not. I should also point out that the opinions and observations below are my own.

Expectation:
Las Vegas is very bright, literally.
Real life:
Yes. Very much so. The Strip is not so much classic "neon glitz" bright, more like "huge f-ing video screen on every surface" bright. Downtown was the opposite. By the way, if you wanna see lights, I would highly recommend the Fremont Street Experience downtown. Google it.

Expectation:
There are cheap buffets in Vegas.
Real life:
There are buffets everywhere, but they are not typically cheap. Stacy and I ate the Champagne Brunch Buffet at Mandalay Bay. Sure $27 is plenty to pay for any meal, but this was the single biggest, highest quality and most elegant buffet I will probably ever see. In fact, I would bet that it is on the top-ten buffets in the world. Anyway, as the price of buffets went up, the price of rooms did the opposite. Vegas knows how to work it.

Expectation:
Las Vegas is what the common midwesterner would describe as "hustle and bustle."
Real life:
Yes, but the hustling and bustling crowd is more middle/working class than I expected. High rollers lay low at the table games (We saw a dude playing $200/bet blackjack in the Wynn with the same demeanor as my roommate playing PS3). From what I can tell, middle class people walk around and attempt to see everything. Another interesting observation, for me, was the amount of foreign tourists. I wish I knew how many different languages we heard walking past people.

Expectation:
Getting around in Vegas is tough.
Real life:
Not nearly as difficult as expected. There are plenty of taxis everywhere plus other available and easily accessible forms of public transportation. I suspect that any rookie Vegas vacationer finds themselves walking much more than they anticipated, especially on their first visit.

Expectation:
The city never sleeps.
Real life:
The city never sleeps, but about 85% of the crowd does at some time before daylight.

Expectation:
Vegas vacations are spendy.
Real life:
If you get the right place on the right nights and the right flights on the right days, your trip can be very affordable for any budget. It seems as if the hotel casinos typically offer cheap rooms ($39/night and up) to encourage people to play their saved money in the casino. It's cheap to get there and stay, but visitors should understand that the Vegas economy knows how to milk it out of you. What you don't spend in one place, you will spend in another.

If you made it this far in my post, I thank and congratulate you on your dedication. As I said before, I hope that this and the last post will be useful for anybody considering a trip to Vegas. If you would like to see more photos of our trip, check em out on Facebook.

Thanks for reading,
John

The Vegas Story, Part 1

About 9 or 10 months ago, Stacy and I spent most of our spring break in Yuma, Arizona, with my grandma and two aunts. In a nutshell, the trip was awesome and we're definitely going back asap. Anyway, on the way home, we decided that our next big adventure would happen again in about a year.

About 2 or 3 months ago, I found a good deal on airfare to Las Vegas. "Vegas, yes," I thought. It made perfect sense. Dice and neon lights began to congregate in my mind. I told Stacy about Allegiant Air's two-for-one deal and a week later we had tickets and reservations at the Excalibur. And so the excitement began.

In the slowing time before we went, I visited every Vegas website I could find. My obsession led me to watch all three Ocean's movies in one day, and I even ordered free tourism magazines from the Las Vegas tourism department thingy. I also spent an average of one hour a day gawking at the 3-D buildings on the Strip on Google Earth.

Needless to say, my expectations and preconceptions were well developed before our plane left Sioux Falls. I'll let you know how those expectations and perceptions played out in the next post.

The reason I am telling you this is because I want to put a few lists on here which might be useful for those who are interested in Las Vegas. In short, I want to share what I've learned with you.

Here we go.

Top 3 Las Vegas websites:
1. www.goingtovegas.com is a very useful tool for anybody going to Vegas. Great tips on every aspect of a Vegas vacation. Well organized.

2. www.thevegascabbie.com is a blog by a Vegas cab driver. He serves up some golden information and tips. This guy is the man. He also has a very interesting and useful podcast.

3. www.vegas.com is another good site for information on venues and shows. This site is probably the largest and most developed of the three.


Top 3 useful things to do before you go to Vegas:
1. Study a map of the Strip. Google Earth it. Know where you're going.

2. Check and study show reviews. LV is the entertainment capital of the world for a reason, but sometimes new shows suck bad. Do yourself a favor and Google "Cirque du Soleil." Apparently tickets to "O" and "Ka" are worth every penny. If it is your first trip to Vegas, don't be a sucker for the advertisements - do some reasearch. Don't go to Criss Angel at the Luxor.

3. Make sure you have some good walking shoes that don't squish your pinky toes. You're gonna have some major walking to do. I know this sounds obvious, but both Stacy and I got blisters on our toes. Basketball shoes are not the best for Vegas.


Top 3 things to carefully consider:
1. Where are you staying? Almost anywhere you stay will be fantastic, but the location of your room will greatly influence your LV experience. The Strip is very big, bustling, showy and glamourous. Downtown is smaller, neon, classic and has better blackjack. Every resort/casino is unique. If you don't like bratty screaming kids, don't stay at the Excalibur or Circus Circus. Spend the extra bucks and get a better place to crash.

2. With whom are you going? Take your kids to Excalibur. Better yet - don't take them at all. By including your offspring in your Vegas vacation, everybody there will both hate you and question your parenting skills. A group of college kids should stay at either the MGM Grand or New York New York because they are both relatively affordable and have good clubs and shows.

3. What is your budget? Gambling is fun. Nobody goes to Vegas and doesn't leave at least a few bucks. Set a limit, and stick with that limit. Expect to lose your money and realize that the odds are always against you. Slot machines are a waste of money. Gambling is entertainment.


Whew - we made it!

If you have no interest in LV at all, thank you for tolerating this and the next post.


-John

So what's new with John?

It's been too long since I last took the time to sit down, center myself and write. It feels good.

Well, what can I say? Things have been pretty good in the last few months or so. I'm kinda just taking it a day at a time. My work/life routine has been steady since the holiday season ended.

Stacy (my gorgeous girlfriend) and I spend as much time together as we can. I work 8-5 on weekdays and she works mostly evenings and weekends, so we have learned to value the time we get to spend with each other. Just to bring everybody up to speed, Stacy and I have been dating for 3 years and 1 month as of last Tuesday. We recently returned from a kick-ass vacation to Las Vegas, of which I will blog in the near future.

Anyway, besides not being able to see Stacy as much as I would like, things have been good for me. I spend most of non-work time at the SDSU Wellness Center and in my apartment in Brookings. I read books of all types, I typically eat too many calories, I watch movies and play video games. What more can I say? On a scale of 1-10, 1 being absolutely neutral and normal and 10 being the most outrageous and crazy thing you have ever seen, I am a 2.5 right now. (I will probably use this scale again in the future). I want to make it clear that I am not a crazy philosophical and over-analytical nut job who needs a blog to preach and glorify myself. I'm a normal dude, and I want to simply give people a little window into my life. Communication is good, right?

(Image: Stacy and I at an SDSU football game just after I finished performing in the half-time show. 2007)

Please, please, please link to The Fighting Swine

Here is my pleading and pathetic attempt at gaining some initial readership:

You are here. The hard part is over.

So far, chances are that you've probably creeped to this page from my Facebook profile, or I blabbed to you about it at work. You should feel good because, by actually visiting this site, you've taken the first and hardest step of following my blog.

Before you close this browser and lose interest in The Fighting Swine forever, bookmark it, subscribe to the RSS feed, add it to your Google Reader, save the link on your desktop, or write yourself a post-it note to remind yourself that you need to come back. I personally guarantee that you will not regret it. (If you do regret it, I would like to give you my most sincere "my bad.")

Keep reading!
- John

(Image: This wonderful and perplexing peice of art from 2005 includes my younger brother Jeff (left) and me at a marching band festival in Chester, S.D. He played for the PHS band and I was in my second year with the Pride of the Dakotas of SDSU. Thanks mom.)

What's with the name?

When I was around six or seven years old, I was helping my dad and grandpa on the farm. It was a typical sunny/hot/windy South Dakota day and we spent it sorting hogs. Not Harleys - pigs. Big pigs.

For the first time that I could remember, dad entrusted me to the main gate of the pig pen while he went to get the trailer so we could bring them to town. After about five minutes of distracting myself by playing in the dirt, I looked up from my kneeling position to watch two stressed-out sows squeal and attack eachother. This proceeded for a few long moments before they broke into a very cumbersome gallop in my direction. I reeled in horror as I realized that I had forgotten to close the gate. The gate! I was immediately nothing. Two dusty 500 lb. bodies flew past me on both sides, and I froze in terror. For a very juvenile farm boy, this was a nightmare, and I still dream about it.

After my heart started about 5 seconds later, I sprinted to the house to notify grandma as the two sows toured the farm. What followed that was a blur of men chasing pigs with profanity and red faces. I cried very hard that day while realizing two important things:

1. I was not going to be a farmer when I grew up. and
2. I have the most loving and forgiving family in the world.

Thanks for reading.
- John

Your eyes aren't fooling you - John just started a blog

Hello and welcome to whoever might read this.

This is the first official post of my first official personal blog - The Fighting Swine.

I have many ideas and perceptions which sometimes clog the already shallow flow of my brain, so this is the depository for those things. Hopefully you will find something interesting here.

The plan, for now, is to post reactions, ideas and stories on this page for the eyes of the world. I've wanted to do this for a very long time, and now I finally got bored enough to do it. Can you believe it?

I don't want this to be short-lived, and my goal is to not leave my readers hanging. I have seen hundreds of blogs, and I have also seen several of them fail. How do they fail? One or both of two things: 1. The author gets bored with blogging or 2. The author gets too busy to blog.

In the coming days, I am going to regurgitate (sorry for the gross verb) every idea on my brain which I feel needs to be on this page. You will see photos, stories, reviews, tips, ideas and news herein.

Who is my audience? Anybody that cares about my view.

The truth: it is hard to follow blogs. Especially blabbering and unfocused blogs. My blog might be "that blog" or it might be just a page you saw once. I hope that you will stick with me on this adventure.

Thanks for reading.

- John